


Defiance

by OrmondSacker



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Frottage, M/M, Porn With Philosophy, Porn with Feelings, that’s new one isn’t it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-17
Updated: 2016-02-17
Packaged: 2018-05-21 07:46:24
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,898
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6043773
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OrmondSacker/pseuds/OrmondSacker
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In the face of fear, love is a form of defiance.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Defiance

**Author's Note:**

> This is not so much “porn with plot” as “porn with philosophy”. How _that_ happened is an infinite mystery to me.
> 
> Betaed by [milleniumvulcan](https://millenniumvulcan.tumblr.com). Thanks mate.

Finn hung up the blaster rifles back in the weapon's locker after the day's target practice. The room was cool and Finn shivered a little from it despite wearing both long sleeves and his jacket.

Or maybe it was worry about Poe and the rest that made him feel so cold?

He pushed the thought away and turned his thoughts to the day's practice sessions.

The new troops were shaping up well. If they kept up their present learning curve they be able to replace those the Resistance had lost on Eirua soon.

The thought of that battle, the dead face that would never smile again and the voice he would never hear, made him feel cold again. And not just that one. After the destruction of the Hosnia system and the Senate along with it, the New Republic was crumbling, some systems defecting to the First Order in hope of safety, others aiming for neutrality and the few willing to fight unable to make a unified front. Only the Resistance seemed to be both able and willing to fight, but they were stretched thin and in no way able to actually defeat the First Order on their own, though they did their best to halt its progress.

There were so many battles these days, and so many dead on both sides. But as much as Finn disliked killing, the part of battle that he would always hate the most, the one that clawed his soul and left him cold to the core, was the memory of those who didn't make it back and the knowledge that it was him who had led them there.

He knew that one day he might be one of those who didn't return, but he tried not to think of that. Or that Poe would, and he tried to think of that even less. But today it was hard not to, and even during training his eyes had kept straying to the cloudless, empty sky. Blue Group and Gold Group, with Poe leading them, had been sent on a raid against several First Order targets, five strikes in five days with little chance of rest between them. It was a gruelling schedule and Finn worried that this time they been asked to do more than even they could manage. They should have been back three days ago, but there had been no sight nor news of them so far.

And perhaps no news was good news – surely the First Order would have announced it to the whole galaxy if they had managed to destroy the Resistance's most elite pilots – but the wait was nerve wracking. And it wasn't just him. The tension at the whole base was thick enough that you could cut it with a vibro blade.

Finn sighed and closed the locker, the tension gnawing on his mind no matter how much he tried to push it aside. He knew that Poe would likely do the same when their places were reversed, when it was Finn who was away and Poe left back at base. That was yet another thing he tried not to think about - how much those thoughts would prey on Poe, whether he too sometimes lay awake in the night, the pillow beside him empty, and wondered if the man who usually slept there would ever do so again.

But they were both too committed in the fight to give it up and they loved each other too much to ever consider asking it. So thoughts like that led nowhere, but while the constant knowledge whenever one or the other headed out that this time might be the last one was bad enough, the uncertainty of not knowing _if_ this time had been the last was infinitely worse.

He stepped out of the armory and into the cold, clear air, and pulled his jacket closer around him. As always it made him feel a little better, a little closer to Poe. The pilot had insisted on patching it up after the fight with Kylo Ren, though Finn had been ready to give it up as a lost cause what with the burn hole in the shoulder and the back nearly cut in two. The result was slightly shabby, but at times like this Finn was glad of Poe’s insistence.

“Colonel?”

Finn tore his eyes away from the sky, which he had been gazing at again, to meet the green eyes of Jeele Tazi, one of the young troops he had just been training. Young here was a relative term as she couldn't be more than a year or two younger than him, but the earnestness in her eyes made her seem much younger.

“I told you, outside training or a mission it's just Finn.”

She flashed him a quick, bright smile.

“Well, some of us are going go grab a drink and a game of sabacc to unwind, and we were wondering if you wanted to join in?”

Finn smiled for what felt like the first time in days.

“Why not. Lead on.”

He followed her in silence as she practically skipped along beside him, even the tension and strain of the atmosphere evidently doing nothing to dampen her spirit. She wasn't the best shot, but she had a solid grasp of battle tactics and she had finally learned to keep her head down in a fire fight. Finn had worried that her spirit and cheer wouldn't survive her first encounter with the First Order, but in spite – or maybe because – of how gruesome her first battle had been she seemed determined to keep not only her own spirit up, but those of others as well. If she survived long enough she would make a fine battlefield commander; winning battles took more than combat skills.

The sudden whine of thrust engines made both of them stop and look up to be greeted by the sight of the silhouettes of multiple X-Wings flying across the twilit sky, the light of the setting sun gleaming on their canopies.

Finn's eyes locked onto them, his heart caught in his throat, as they roared across the sky towards the landing field.

_1, 2, 3, 4... 13! All of them, they all made it back._

Finn closed his eyes, feeling something hard and heavy that had been sitting in his chest for the last three days dislodge, and he took off in a dead sprint towards the landing field almost before he had them open again.

Still, their current base was large and by the time he reached it the X-Wings had already landed and the pilots disembarked.

The instant Finn laid eyes on them he knew something was wrong. Jess was leaning back against her fighter and staring emptily up into the air, Snap looked murderous and Na'synda – a Twilek who had recently joined Gold Group – looked even greener than usual.

And Poe? He was standing with one hand on his hip, another on his X-Wing, his head and shoulders hunched over, staring unseeingly onto the ground. Even BB-8 looked dispirited.

Striding over to his lover, Finn did a quick count of the pilots. Everyone was there, they all looked uninjured, even the droids had made it back safely. Whatever made them all look like this, it had nothing to do with the fighter groups.

He put a hand on Poe's shoulder, but the other man gave no indication of feeling it and Finn could see that his features were drawn and tight.

“Poe?”

The pilot straightened himself with visible effort and took a deep breath.

“We have to go get debriefed, I'll talk to you later. Come on, BB-8,” he said, deliberately looking away from Finn.

Finn watched him go, the other pilots slowly following him, all of them dragging their feet as they went.

 

He would have lingered outside the main bunker waiting for them all to come out, but Lieutenant Tane spotted him and insisted on discussing what supplies would be needed for future raids. Finn had requested a focus on explosives over firearms and, while not everyone agreed, he had gained the support of General Organa and Admiral Satura which was enough for now. Killing menial soldiers would get them nowhere and since cutting off the head of the krayt dragon was clearly not going to be possible until they could unify what remained of the New Republic, destroying and damaging the First Order's infrastructure by blowing up shipyards and bases and raiding supply lines was a good second choice. It wouldn't stop them, but it could significantly slow them and hopefully buy the Resistance enough time to gather everyone.

By the time he and Tane were done it was fully dark outside, with only Galaa's twin moons, both full and round, giving light.

The main bunker appeared deserted and Finn knew that the debriefing must have ended long ago.

_So where would Poe be? Their quarters?_

No, not without Finn there. What with the state he was in, alone was the last thing he would want to be; Poe tended to crowd to his friends when his spirits were low. They both did, taking comfort in the warmth of friendship.

_The mess?_

Just about to head there a soft beeping drifting through the night air made him look up to see his lover leave the storage hangar with BB-8 at his feet, the pair silhouetted against the moonlight.Finn could see how Poe's shoulders were still hunched over, the droid rolling slowly beside him beeping quietly.

Finn felt a little like kicking himself. Poe's first thought would have been to see to everyone else's condition rather than his own, and the first one must have been Snap - the man dealt with things by taking his X-Wing apart and putting it together again. He wasn't sure who was next on Poe's list, but they'd have to wait. The pilot looked like he could barely stand.

Lengthening his stride, Finn easily caught up to Poe and was greeted by a low beep from BB-8. Poe halted and looked at him, and Finn immediately pulled him into an embrace that the pilot weakly returned.

Pulling back, Finn crinkled his nose.

“You need a shower.”

Poe gave something that Finn supposed had been meant as a smile but only succeeded in becoming a grimace.

“And a week's worth of sleep.” Poe sounded even more weary than he looked.

“Bath first though. And maybe some food,” Finn said, aiming for levity but not entirely succeeding, as he put one arm around Poe's shoulder and steered him towards their quarters.

The pilot let himself be steered, silent and unresisting, which worried Finn more than anything else.

 

Back at their quarters, Finn gave Poe a gentle push towards the shower.

“You get in, I'll go get some food.”

Poe merely nodded and headed off, stripping off his clothes as he went and simply letting them drop to the floor.

“BB-8,” Finn said softly. “Keep an eye on him for me, I won't be long.”

 

The mess was crowded and noisy.

Making his way to the buffet, intending to picking up some food and hurry back to Poe, Finn spotted four of the pilots - Jess, Na'synda, Dua Neb and Drax Amnel - standing at the other side of the room in a small tight-knit group, along with Jeele. She was talking to them, one hand on Jess' arm.

Finn wasn't quite sure as her back was towards him, but it almost looked like Jess was crying. For a second he considered joining them, but Jeele was already herding the four towards one of the lounges where they'd have a bit more privacy, and he knew she likely had the situation in hand. And he didn't want to leave Poe alone for too long.

Quickly grabbing a tray and some food, Finn made his way back to their quarters.

He returned to find Poe lying on the bed fully naked and fast asleep, his hair still damp from the shower, and with one arm thrown across his eyes to shield them from the light.

_Alright, food later._

He turned down the light and studied the other man for a moment before he went to put the tray on the nightstand.

BB-8 rolled up too him, beeping softly.

“Shhh,” Finn whispered. “Yes I know you're being quiet, but I really don't want to wake him up. He looked so tired.”

Reaching out, he let a hand trail over the droid's head.

“I wish I understood you well enough that I could ask you what happened.”

Whatever BB-8's reply was it sounded very sad.

“You go ahead and power down if you want, I'll watch over him,” Finn continued, nodding towards the sleeping Poe. “You sound as if you could do with a rest as well.”

With a soft, grateful beep BB-8 rolled over to the charge socket, plugged itself in and promptly powered down.

Finn turned his attention back Poe. Grabbing a blanket, he gently draped it over his lover's naked body so he wouldn't get cold. Then he pulled off his boots and jacket and lay down on the bed beside the pilot.

With great caution he lifted Poe's arm away from his face and lay it down on top of the blanket. The pilot gave a small discontented noise and for a moment Finn feared he had woken him, but he seemed to immediately drift off again.

Laying on his side, Finn studied his lover's face. It was lined deep with worry and pain, the otherwise laughing mouth pressed together in anguish, and tears seemed to be caught between his eyelashes.

_What happened? What did you see out there that weighs so heavy on your hearts?_

Finn scooted up against Poe and put one arm across his chest. He felt a mounting exhaustion himself, the tension of the last few day's waiting finally catching up with him. He tugged his head in against Poe's neck and closed his eyes, determined to take a nap as well. He had a feeling he would need all his strength to help his partner when he woke.

 

He opened his eyes again to find Poe propped up on one elbow, studying him. His face was less lined, but still sombre, his eyes containing a pained deadness that Finn had never witnessed before and which was all at odds with the otherwise passionate man.

“I didn't mean to wake you,” Poe said softly. He reached out and cupped the back of Finn's head, his fingers tracing through the short cropped curls.

“I don't think you did. I've been sleeping well lately, I just wanted a nap that's all.”

Finn mirrored Poe's touch, letting his fingers twirl through the pilot's dark locks.

“How are you?” he asked.

Poe's gaze snapped away and a grimace darted across his features.

Rolling off the bed with an abrupt motion, Poe got up and started circling the room in a frantic pace, the muscles in his jaw taunt and trembling, before coming to an abrupt halt near one wall. He stood stock still, the only movement the clenching and unclenching of his fist. The tension in his body was clearly visible in rigid muscles of his naked back.

Time ticked by while Finn waited patiently for what he thought would be Poe's inevitable explosion, but the pilot simply remained standing there, silent and unmoving.

Finn shifted restlessly on the bed, uncertain of what to do. Normally Poe was quick to speak about what troubled him and this uncharacteristic silence left Finn uneasy and feeling more than a little helpless.

Finally, he decided to break the silence.

“Poe? Tell me?”

For a moment Finn thought that Poe still would speak. When the words came, they were abrupt and without preamble, as if Poe only wanted to get it over with as quickly as he could.

“We got all five of our targets without too much trouble. Chee's tail got a bit scorched at the second one, nothing serious,” The leaden tone in the pilot’s voice as he spoke, weighed on Finn’s heart

“At our fifth goal three TIE carriers left as we popped in. We were all tired and worn down, so any opposition leaving was welcome and our main target was the base itself, not the troops. We just logged their exit vector and went to work.”

Finn listened with a sense of growing dread. The dead note in his lover's voice distressed him far more than even the most volatile display of temper could have. Poe was nothing if not passionate and the lack of spirit in him was deeply worrying.

“With most of the TIEs gone it was easy, still it took us nearly 20 minutes to finish. We were about to head home when Jess said she'd noticed something odd about the TIE carriers' exit vector. In the direction they were going were only uninhabitable systems, and... Dousca.”

Finn frowned.

“There are just two small farming colonies there. Not very productive ones either.”

“Were. There were two farming colonies.”

Poe's voice was beginning to sound strained and his fist was clenched so tight that the knuckles had gone pale. Finn rolled off the bed and went to stand behind the pilot, though without touching him.

“I ordered the groups to head after them. I knew it would take us beyond our scheduled time and we were all exhausted by then, but I had a bad feeling about it,” the pilot continued. “But by the time we got there, the First Order was done. There was nothing we could do... except stop them from ever doing it again.”

Poe's slammed his fist into the wall with a sharp cry. Finn looked quickly at BB-8 to see if the noise had woken him, but the droid remained silent so he must have shut down completely.

Finn waited calmly for Poe’s next move, next words, but nothing else came, His lover stood unmoving and unwilling, or unable, to speak.

Hesitantly Finn reached out and put one hand over the clenched fist still resting against the wall and the other on Poe's hip, fingers curling around the bone. He could feel the muscles that lay beneath the cool, naked skin, were rigid and trembling with with strain.

He longed to do more, pull Poe into his arms and hold him tightly, but the uncharacteristic behaviour his lover displayed made him uncertain. They had both seen dead and dying before, soldiers _and_ civilians, but this… for some reason this had hit Poe much harder than it ever had before.

Perhaps this had been the straw that broke the bantha’s back.

 _Or…_ a terrible thought occurred to Finn. _Was it because it had been small, isolated colonies?_

Had it, perhaps subconsciously, made him fear what could happen should the First Order ever strike at Yavin, his home plane,t and the colony where his family lived?

Poe’s voice interrupted his thoughts.

“We checked the colonies for survivors afterwards. There was nothing left but rubble and-.” Poe's voice broke and he spun in Finn's grip, wrapping his hands around Finn's waist and pressing his forehead against his lover's.

“Touch me. Help me remember there's still good in the galaxy.” Poe voice was weak and almost pleading. His eyes were blank and his lips trembled softly.

Finn swallowed.

Whatever the cause, it was clearly tearing his lover apart inside. It made Finn’s heart ache for him and long to hold him even more, offer what comfort he could.

Finn tipped his head and kissed Poe softly on the lips, while the hand that still rested on Poe’s hip gently caressed the curve of the bone. The other he let travel up and down Poe's back, feeling the lean muscle beneath his palm.

Finn felt the other man's shaky breath against his skin as the pilot started kissing him back, no tongue or teeth, just closed lips gently brushing against his.

He felt Poe's hands dipping beneath his shirt, tugging the shirt out of his pants as the thumbs drew small circles on his abdomen.

Continuing his gentle kisses, Finn let his right hand slide into Poe's hair and tangled his fingers gently in the soft curls.

Poe's hands slid fully up under his shirt. The palms pressed against the taut muscles of his chest, making Finn sigh softly against Poe's lips. The hands slid further up Finn's chest as Poe slowly pushed up the shirt, before finally breaking the kiss long enough to pull it over Finn's head. Finn let him, allowing himself a tiny bit of relief at his lover's response, that some of Poe's passion was returning.

Shirt summarily discarded, Poe ran his hands down over Finn's shoulders, his left coming to a dead stop as it touched the scar that marred the shoulder where Kylo Ren's lightsaber had pierced his skin. Poe stared at it, mesmerised, as his fingertips continued to trail across the smooth, raised flesh.

“Every time I close my eyes I see those ruins. But it's you lying there. You, Jess, Snap. All of you.”

Finn took the hand that was touching the scar and held it up, his palm pressed against Poe's palm, their fingers tangled together.

“I'm alive, Poe. I'm alive.”

The pilot said nothing, but Finn saw the words forming in his eyes - _for how much longer?_ \- and he felt his chest clench. The deadness was still present in them, the mark of someone who was fast losing all hope. It was so unlike Poe, so far from his usual hopeful nature, that it made Finn afraid.

But fear had never never held him back.

Finn's free hand came out and cupped the back of Poe's neck, pulling him closer. And when he spoke he put every ounce of passion he had behind his words, desperate to get through to his lover.

“Don't, Poe. Don't surrender. Don't give them this.”

“Give them what?”

Finn swallowed, trying to choose his words carefully. In his head it sounded somewhat stilted and hollow, and if he admitted it to himself a bit overdramatic, but Poe needed this right now - his sincerity as well as his passion

“Your hope, your love. It's something they can't _take_. Which is why they'll do anything, anything at all, to make you surrender it, because without it.” He clutched Poe's hand. “Without hope and love, what reason would we have to even fight them? They'd have won without ever having to strike a blow.”

“They could take you. All of you.” Poe’s voice was so low, Finn strained to hear the words and it made him ache to hear his lover so dispirited.

Poe's fingers trailed across Finn's cheek, butterfly soft, and Finn let his own caress the nape of Poe's neck as he locked their eyes together.

“But they can't take what we've already shared. They can't take all the times we've laughed together, the kisses we've shared, the time we've spend with friends just... being. They can't take the love we've built in the past, or that we'll build in the future. It's the one thing they _can't_ Tightening his grip on Poe's hand briefly, feeling tears of desperation form and threaten to spill down his cheeks, Finn continued.

“And I won't, Poe. I refuse to give them this. I spend twenty years in their hands and I didn't surrender this, I won't do it now. Please don't surrender either.”

Poe looked into Finn’s eyes, his own filled with a mix of anguish and sorrow.

“I'm afraid,” he whispered.

“So am I.” Finn's voice was no louder than his lover's. “But that hasn't stopped me before and it's not going to stop me now.”

He could feel how Poe was softly trembling, hear his shaky breath. The pilot disentangled their fingers and brought both his hands up to cup Finn's face, running his thumbs over cheek, lips and chin.

Finn let his hands rest on Poe's hips, feeling the chilled skin beneath his palms. Poe swallowed and licked his lips nervously, his eyes holding the look of someone about to step off a precipice. With almost agonizing slowness he leaned forward and pressed his lips against Finn's.

Finn could feel the swift, almost sobbing breath against his skin.

“I love you,” he whispered.

Poe's response was a passionate, almost aggressive kiss, so unlike the tenderness he usually displayed.

“Let me touch you.” Poe's voice was cracked and needy.

“Touch me where?”

“Everywhere.”

Finn's heart leapt in his chest. Poe was usually so careful with him, so reluctant to take charge of things when they were together, so this was new. But not unwelcome.

“Yes.”

Poe's hands slipped from Finn's face and down his throat, thumbs running on each side of his sternum, fingers curling around to caress the back of his neck, then further down across his shoulders. All the while Poe kept on kissing him passionately and Finn let his eyes flutter shut, softly kissing Poe back.

The pilot's strong fingers caressed his arms, a firm touch down their outside tracing the solid muscles beneath the skin, only to reverse back up on the inside, so light they barely touched, the tips drawing intricate patterns along their way.

Poe continued to caress him in the same fashion over and over, slowly driving him mad and turning Finn on far more than he had thought possible from just having his arms touched, but combined with the hungry kisses he was already dizzy and hard to the point where his pants were becoming an uncomfortable acquaintance. He lifted his hands slowly to get rid of them, not wanting to break Poe's touch, only to have his hands captured.

His hands were lowered to his sides, before Poe's drifted to the waistband of Finn's pants, deftly undoing button and zipper before slipping them down over his hips and letting them drop to the floor. Still kissing him as if his life depended on it Poe pulled him into his arms, and Finn wrapped his arms around his lover's shoulders. He could feel Poe's half hard cock against his abdomen and knew that Poe would feel his erection too.

As Poe walked Finn backwards to the bed, he pulled him in even closer and the younger man groaned into Poe's mouth at the pressure applied to his cock. It took considerable effort not to just start rutting against Poe, he was so warm and hard and right _there_ , but he was determined to let his lover lead this time. And he was slightly worried they might fall over if he did.

He felt the cold pressure of the bedframe on the back of his shins and found himself lowered slowly backward down onto the bed.

Poe shifted them about until they were both fully on the bed, then disentangled himself from Finn’s arms and pinned his lover’s hands down beside his head, knees placed between Finn's thighs, spreading them wide. Finn lay obediently, still looking up into Poe's hungry face, patiently waiting for whatever his lover decided to do next. But Poe made no move to do anything but stare at him with the desperate, needy look.

It wasn't that long ago that having a man kneeling over him with that expression would have made Finn feel more than a little uncomfortable and apprehensive, but here and now, safe in the knowledge that a 'no' or 'stop' would be all that he'd ever need, all it did was make his cock pulse in anticipation and his skin feel impossibly hot.

Encouragingly, he ran a thigh up Poe's side.

“I’m yours,” he whispered.

That was all it took to break the last remnants of his lover's restraints.

Poe pinned down Finn's leg down with his own and shifted so he loomed fully over the younger man, his thumbs pressing in tiny circles on the restrained wrists. The features of Poe's face softened, though the keen heated look in his eyes remained.

He lowered his mouth to Finn's, brushing his lips softly across his, tongue darting out and dipping between them. Teeth bit Finn’s bottom lip, just this side of painful, and then the tongue was back, slowly working its way into his mouth to toy with his tongue. After a minute Poe started sucking softly on it too and Finn couldn't hold back a soft whine, the gentle tugs seeming to have a direct line to his now fully hard cock.

He was only being touched by Poe's hands, shins and mouth, and it felt to Finn as if his skin would combust if Poe didn't start touching more of him soon, so when Poe finally let go of his mouth and nudged Finn beneath the chin he willingly tilted his head back to give Poe his throat.

Licks and nuzzling kisses were scattered across the tender skin of his throat, making Finn arch his neck to get closer, have more of those scalding touches.

Poe moved further down, letting go of Finn's hands in the process, and the younger man grabbed fistfuls of sheet to keep them in place, as Poe showered kisses over Finn’s chest and gently nipped and licked the tight nipples.

Poe kept moving further and further down, and Finn's legs, no longer restrained either, shook with the effort of holding still as Poe's lips brushed across his abdomen, carefully avoiding his throbbing cock, tongue darting out to lick off the perspiration forming on his skin.

When Poe put his hands on Finn's thighs, his thumbs caressing the tender skin on the inside, Finn let out a deep groan. And when Poe's mouth followed in their wake, lips and tongue nipping and caressing, he wondered if he might pass out from this. His chest was heaving, his skin feeling tight and hot and so hard it felt almost unbearable, and precome was dripping onto his belly. He wasn't sure if he wanted this to end or go on, and he was keenly aware of the constant whimpering noises he was making. Noises that turned into a keening wail when Poe suddenly pulled away.

He lifted his head to see his lover kneeling between his spread legs, face soft with wonder and awe.

“You don't have to lie still, you know,” Poe said softly as he let one hand skim across Finn's thigh, making the younger man's breath hitch.

Finn smiled.

“I know.”

Poe's lips briefly curled upwards and though the smile didn't quite reach his eyes, they no longer held the horrible deadness from before.

Biting his lip Poe moved, laying himself on top of Finn, finally, _finally_ , giving him the skin contact he was desperate for. The lean, muscular body weighed down on him and Poe's cock pressed against the side of his, and he dared not move a muscle or he might lose it right then and there.

No longer able to keep perfectly still, he let go of the sheet and wrapped his arms around Poe's waist, wanting – _needing_ – to hold him. Poe was nuzzling his neck, rocking his hips slowly and gently against Finn, the friction feeling so good Finn started sobbing, his hands balling into fists against the skin of Poe's back. But even then he lay as still as he could, letting Poe set his own pace, allowing the excruciatingly slow build of heat in his groin as he whimpered against Poe's shoulder, and through it all Poe made small encouraging noises while he nipped at and kissed Finn's throat.

_Please, please, please._

Finn could hear nothing but the thundering blood in his own ears and feel the impossible heat of his and Poe's skin, sweat running down his sides, and the slick slide of his cock against Poe's made it impossible to concentrate on anything but his need.

“Poe, please!”

“Finn.” he felt more than heard his name whispered against his skin, Poe grinding hard down against him sending them both over the edge.

Hot fluid erupted between their bodies and firesparks ran under Finn's skin from head to foot as Poe groaned softly and collapsed trembling against him. Still lost in the waves of bliss washing through his body, Finn tightened his arms around Poe and raised one hand to tangle his fingers in the long curls.

A minute and more ticked by as they lay tangled in each other, hearts racing, breathing heavily, the glow and languor of orgasm making neither inclined to move. Finally Poe grunted and started to disentangle himself, which only made Finn tighten his grip further.

“Better clean up buddy, or we'll be stuck together permanently,” Poe said kindly, his features lax with pleasure.

“Worse fates,” Finn muttered lazily.

“Yeah, but it could make things pretty awkward.”

With a sigh Finn let go of him. Poe went to the fresher to return a few moments later with a damp washcloth, and cleaned Finn off.

Finn pulled him down for a kiss. For once unsure what to say, he tried his best to let his mouth and hands tell Poe how much he loved what they had just done.

Pulling back, Poe caressed Finn's face and kissed him on the forehead before getting back up.

It took a while for him to come back from the fresher, and Finn was beginning to wonder if he should get up and go in there after him when he returned.

Poe crawled back under the covers and snuggled up against Finn, resting his head on his shoulder.

“Thank you.”

“My pleasure,” Finn said.

Poe looked up at him with a huff and smiled. It looked tired and a little sad, but it reached his eyes all the same. The life and fierceness was back as well, subdued but there. That more than anything else made Finn breathe easily again.

“Fairly sure it half of it was mine you know.”

Finn leaned down and kissed him on the nose.

“That _was_ the point.”

“That, was...” Poe's voice trailed off.

Finn smiled.

“It was.”

Sighing, Poe lay his head back down and Finn once more tangled his fingers in Poe's hair, toying with the locks. Poe sighed again, this time far more contentedly, and Finn felt him relax against him.

Between the afterglow and the exhaustion of several consecutive days’ flying and fighting, Poe soon dropped off. Finn lay awake a while longer, thinking about Dousca.

_Why? What was the purpose of it? Was it some sort of retaliation for the strikes the Resistance had been making against them? And since they couldn't hit the Resistance directly they had targeted civilians instead in the hope of frightening them into inaction?_

That kind of twisted, cruel rationale would fit the First Order perfectly. If true, what could they do about it except stop fighting altogether? They didn't have the manpower to protect civilian targets and the way things looked they could expect little support from the New Republic.

Of course, this was assuming this was even what was happening. The First Order could have had any number of reason to annihilate Dousca. Before they could start laying strategies they needed intel.

Sighing, he closed his eyes and pulled Poe tighter in against himself.

It would have to wait till tomorrow when their heads were clearer. For tonight he'd stick to loving his pilot and keeping him as safe as he could.

**Author's Note:**

> I have [a tumblr](https://the-name-is-finn.tumblr.com) for those who are thus inclined.


End file.
